haha we don't talk about my old stories ok. ok ahahah those are old don't read them please i'm begging

i'm keeping them on this site for, ah. archival reasons. allow me to spare you from witnessing approximately 10k words of run-on sentences and improper usages of "your" that I, somehow, in 2014, once believed had any value as a form of literature. sincerest apologies to the few dozen whom that very misfortune fell upon

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